Your best defense against an attack is hard to generalize. Every case is different and I do not want to narrow this to one certain way of defense. But there are certainly a few things you should know, or at least heard about…

Trust your intuition!

If you have a feeling that something is just not right, does not feel right or makes you nervous – trust your gut feelings. Your intuition is mostly right and even if it should not be, I rather turn around or run away one too many times than getting caught up in a situation I do not want to be in.

So if you have any of the following signals, listen to them:

• Fear
• Suspicion
• Doubt
• Hesitation
• Gut feelings
• Hunches
• Curiosity
• Nagging feelings
• Apprehension

If you should receive any of those signals, try to figure out what is going on immediately. Be aware and try to make the smartest decision to keep you safe! Your intuition is your best defense!

The predator often employs several techniques to override your intuition. Knowing these tactics can help you to identify someone as a threat and alarm you to be more careful:

• Not accepting the word “NO”
• Forced teaming
• Unsolicited promises

He would say things like “ Don’t worry, I won’t bite” (happened to me!), “ We did it!”, “ How are we going to do this?”, “We like the same …”   and so on….

He would not accept and respect you saying “No”, no matter how small it may seem, like carrying your books, groceries, giving your number away or even talking to him!

You have to ask yourself why he is saying things like that! Why would he tell you he does not “bite” – only because he is trying to convince you of something! Something you had doubts about in the first place. And now he is trying to erase those doubts by being sweet, nice, challenging, charming or whatever he can use to get you there!

If someone tries to convince you of something that you were uncomfortable with in the first place, you need to be extremely careful!

Please pay attention. Because as simple as this might sound – it actually might safe your life! And you can never be too careful!

A few simple tips:

Try to avoid dark corners. Try to be as aware as you can be, especially being outside. If you are jogging or running, try not to listen to music. And if you have to listen to music, try to keep one ear open. When you see someone suspicious try to go to the other side of the street or even turn around. Always stay aware. Do not go close to a stranger’s car. If he cannot find the way he will have to find someone else to give him directions!!!!

Try to walk in the middle of the walkway. Most assaults in the streets take place out of a car. If you walk in the middle, it will make it harder for the predator and he might change his mind. Do not walk too close to the other side neither, especially if there are bushes and trees, where somebody could hide! Try to walk toward the traffic, because it is harder for coming traffic to stop.

Try to be with a number of people when you go out at night, even if you just walk to the car. Have a friend walk you!

ALWAYS BE AWARE!!!

When I was raped I froze; it did not cross my mind to scream or yell. It did not cross my mind that I could kick and hit and scratch. I tried what was in my power and after being unsuccessful I froze.

Some people might tell you to fight back; other might tell you that it could safe your life if you do not! Some people might tell you to get loud, others might tell you to be careful.

It is really up to the situation. But never forget that the predator will keep on trying to override your intuition. He might tell you to “hush!”, “Do not yell!” and he says it to make you feel like this is the right thing to do. But what he actually says is “ Do not yell, because if you do I might have to stop and leave you, because I do not want that attention!”. He is actually telling you what to do-which would be yelling! It would scare him off.

But being in that situation will most likely have you scared, and you probably will not be able to rationalize or even think straight. You might be full of fear, thinking it is the best to do as he says…But you, and only you, can judge that! You must listen to your intuition. Do not put yourself in any more danger than you are already in!

You can stare him down, scare him off by getting loud, start acting like a dog and bark on all four and you can resist; whatever feels right to you and can safe you!

And do not feel guilty afterwards if you did not think about this or that. In the end it is a traumatic experience, and he might have you completely paralyzed. If you are alive, you did everything right!

(also see article in "Redbook" magazine, August 2004)