SPIRITUAL

THE LORD IS MY LIGHT!

When I came to the United States 18 months ago I already believed in God, but I now I know that I did not TRUST in Him yet. I would go to church and pray; but even though I sometimes felt the spirit I did not feel as close to God as I do now. After the incident happened I was extremely upset and I did not understand why God let this happen to me. I was upset with God and asked him:” Where were you that night, Lord? Why didn't you protect me, dear Lord? What happened?" I did not go to church the weeks after the rape, because I felt not strong enough to be there. I felt it was not right to go to church with my heart being upset and not full of love for God.

After a few weeks, though, after my husband had safely arrived home from Iraq, we went to church together.

And that day I truly felt it! I never felt that close to God! Never before I heard Him talking to me the way He did that day. He told me that I could get through this, He told me I could handle it, as long as I believe in Him. He told me, no matter how hard it might seem right now, I would have to trust Him and believe in Him; and everything would be alright! That day I cried through almost the whole service. I listened, like I never listened before and I held my husbands hand, starting to put myself in God's. I was touched by God's grace.

Since that day I started the process of actually dealing with what had happened. I thought about what I experienced, and I came to the conclusion that this must have been the smaller of two evils! Only Lord knows, what else could have happened.... whether it is to me, my husband or even a stranger. And I do trust in the Lord that this was the best way things could have gone. It might sound funny to someone who does not have the spiritual background. But just try it, read in the bible! Start with the Psalms, you would be surprised how it can help!

I believe that God is good! I believe God has a plan and I just have to trust in Him!I CHOOSE TO TRUST HIM!

I am more than lucky for what God gave me! God blessed me with a beautiful husband, family, health and lots of love!

We will get through this and become even stronger. We cannot turn bitter over someone who has done us so wrong!

We need to put our energy in the positive things that we were given, and not waste it on anger and frustration. Justice will be served - one way or another! Put it in God's hands and He will guide you the way! Let it go when you are ready for it! God will lift you up and help you through this!

GOD BLESS YOU!

(july 7th 04)

Every night before I go to sleep I pray. I pray for plenty of things. I ask God to help us grow, grow together and grow closer to Him. I asked Him to help us on our journey through life, and to bless us from above. I even asked for things like “getting some good rest” without nightmares. I asked Him to bless my husband and our families, as well as so many other family and friends. I asked Him to bless the lonely, the sick, the lost, the tired, the locked up ones, the sad, the hungry. I ask Him to shower earth with His grace so we can start breathing again. I ask Him to help us to be strong when the evil tries to tempt us. And every night I thank Him for what He has given us. I thank Him for waking us up, letting us be. God blesses so many with so much, but some are too blinded by other things to see it!

Open your eyes and receive! Open your eyes and see what you have been blessed with!

God loves you! He loves all His children! It does not matter where you come from and who you are, God will always be there for you! God is forgiving and can turn your life around- if you are willing to listen and willing to pray!

If someone did you wrong, do not turn on Him; ask God to help you! Ask God to guide you the way and to make you even stronger through all this! Ask God to put forgiveness in your heart, so you can be all you can be! So your heart will not be poisoned by evil and anger, and you can pass on the good inside of you, the love you have. ”A smile goes a long way!” So do not let frustration blind you!

God loves you, yes, he does! And will listen – anytime! You are not alone! GOD IS YOUR FRIEND! HE LOVES YOU!

Verses to help you:

adultery:

exodus 20:14 Do not commit adultery.

proverbs 6:32 But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul

bitterness:

ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger...Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

blessing:

Psalm 1:1 Blessings come from obeying God
Psalm 84:11 God blesses those who do what is right

comfort:

2 Corinthians 1:5 God comforts those who suffer.
Psalm 138:3 When i pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strenght i need.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.
Psalm 145:14 The Lord helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads.

courage:

Joshua 1:9 Knowing God is with us gives us courage.
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation- so why should i be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strenghten you.I will help you. I will uphold youwith my victorious right hand.

faith:

Psalm 23:6 Wherever we go God is there.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 God is faithful in guarding his people from the evil one.

forgivness:

Matthew 5:44 Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Isaiah 1:18 God forgives all sins, no matter how big.

hatred:

Psalm 97:10 You who love the Lord, hate evil!...
Leviticus 19:17 Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives.

healing:

Isaiah 61:1 ...He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted...
Psalm 6:2 ...Heal me, Lord, for my body is in agony.
Malachi 4:2 God will heal us and restore us.

justice:

Amos 5:24 ...i want to see a mighty flood of justice...
Exodus 23:1-3 Do not pass along false reports. do not cooperate with evil people...do not slant your testimony...

love:

Romans 8:28 God brings good out of bad circumstances.
Hebrews 13:5 God will never leave us or fail us.
1 Corinthians 2:9 God is doing far more for us than we could ever imagine.
Isaiah 41:10 God strenghtens us when we are afraid.

lying:

Proverbs 12:19 Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed.
Proverbs 10:18 To hide hatred is to be a liar; to slander is to be a fool.
Romans 1:18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the thruth away from themselves.

punishment:

1 Peter 4:4-5 ..But just remember that they will have to face God, who will judge everyone, both the living and the dead.

violence:

Psalm 11:5 The Lord ...hates everyone who loves violence.
Matthew 26:49-54 ...Those who use the sword will be killed by the sword...
Matthew 5:38-48 ...If you are slapped on the right cheek, turn the other, too...

worry:

Philippians 4:6 Do not worry about anything, instead, pray about everything.

Here is a verse that helped me incredibly when i went into the hearing:

Psalm 27:1-3

THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION-

SO WHY SHOULD I WORRY?

THE LORD PROTECTS ME FROM DANGER-

SO WHY SHOULD I TREMBLE?

...EVEN IF THEY ATTACK ME, I REMAIN CONFIDENT.

I was very scared of sitting in that chair, so close to the guy, who did me so wrong. I did not know what exactly would happen, and how long the whole thing would last.

I kept telling myself the verse over and over again- it really helped to calm me and make me feel better. I was on the stand for over two and a half hours.